Class, Surgery, Life, Anxiety… The List Goes On…

I’m sorry that I don’t have time for a long post… I need to be waking up in just over four hours. Blogging has been something I really enjoy, and not having had time to post has been rough. But, I can at least give you a quick update about today and my feelings about tomorrow.

My first day of classes went well. This semester is going to be A LOT of reading, but it should at least be interesting reading. I am taking World Regional Geography and Forensic Anthropology. Each one requires at least one chapter of reading a week (starting next week). I’ve never been very good at managing my time, but I am going to have to figure it out so that I can get everything that I want to do done on time. I will hopefully be juggling school, Etsy stuff (painting, etc), doctors (not a “hopefully” item, but a necessary one), painting the house, writing, and blogging. I also want to make sure I have time for daily meditation and more frequent exercising. Earlier this summer I purchased a really nice 2016 planner though, so that I can schedule stuff out much better. I’m going to print off some calendars for the rest of this year so I can get started.

I’m freaking out about tomorrow. Like, really freaking out. My anxiety always intensifies when I have medical procedures, and this one is a pretty big one. I also have no idea how the surgery and recovery are going to go with my relatively new POTS stuff. I know I really need to rest, and I’m exhausted, but my nerves do not want me to go to sleep. Not cool. I also have a wonderful “worst case” brain, so that isn’t helping. And lately it seems like everyone has been telling me what to do and when to do it and stuff like that, so I feel completely out of control and like I’m a child again. I hate not being in control of my own life, and being told what to do sucks. At 25, I know very well what I need to do, what the consequences for not doing it will be, and if I’m willing to deal with the consequences. Being told what to do constantly just makes me feel as if no one trusts me to do the right thing.

Anyway, I really should be trying to sleep. I am going to use the Calm app (see my Things That Make Me Smile page for information on it) in a little bit to hopefully get rid of a little of this excess anxiety… YIKES! Dan will be posting an update for you after my surgery tomorrow, so you know I’m still alive!

More posts from the Great Ear Saga: The Great Ear Saga of 2015Bawling BeanStay on the DropsCutting in Time for SchoolThe PreOp HighlightsDan’s Post-Surgery UpdateQuick Ear UpdatePostOp Physical TherapyMy Post-Surgery UpdatePain Killers, Exhaustion, LifeOctober: PostOp and Life

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