Yes, you read that right…
Breasts, boobs, boobies, tatas, yayas, whatever you want to call them. I want to take a moment to talk about them.
Breasts are inherently part of being a human. Whether you identify as being female or another gender (or no gender), about half the population of this planet was born with the right genetic makeup to grow breasts at puberty. If you’re not part of the population that grew breasts, you’re surrounded by them!
There’s so many topics that have to do with breasts: sexualization/objectification, stigma/taboo, breastfeeding, augmentation, body image, etc. Each of those could be their own post, but they aren’t really what I want to talk about.
I want to talk more specifically about my experience growing up with my boobs, and how I feel about them then and now. (I am a cisgender female. I’m not “girly” but I always identify as being female.)
Growing up, I was bullied horribly. The bullying started in kindergarten (my first school experience), got really bad in 4th grade, improved slightly in 7th grade, and didn’t really end until after my sophomore year of college. Yes, I got bullied from age 5 until about age 20 – 15 years of bullying.
One of the reasons I started getting bullied more in 4th grade was because of puberty. Acne decided to show up, I was really tall (had always been tall) and lanky, my hair changed a bit, but I didn’t develop any curves at all. None. Girls at my school had started wearing bras and make up and things in 3rd grade (or earlier, depending on the girl); “dating” was very much a thing; there was a rash of “marriages” that would happen at recess; appearances were everything. Yes, I got a bit “boy crazy,” but I was still very much a kid in my awkward “90s kid” clothes and overall appearance.
By 6th grade, I had boobs that were just big enough to make me uncomfortable going out without a bra – they were a bit pointy – but weren’t really big enough for most people to consider them boobs. My nipples stuck out a bit, so society said I had to cover up. With my sensory problems, however, bras were uncomfortable. My “training bras” were all kind of lacey, so they itched horribly.
By junior high (7th and 8th grade), my tiny boobs became a point of teasing. We had to change in locker rooms, and I had “friends” say I couldn’t understand the pain of running because I had “no boobs.” Lemme tell you, running with any size boobs during puberty hurts because hormones are mean.
The boob size teasing got worse and worse as I got older. I absolutely hated my boobs. Why couldn’t they just be “proper” boobs?
Now, let me explain my boobs. Not all breasts are just placed on the front of the chest like two perfect ice cream scoops. Breasts are literally a sack of fat (and other specialized tissues) that are on your chest. Sometimes, you get the “perfect ice cream scoop” boobs. Other times, however, the “sacks” can start all the way under your armpits and come around to the front. The distance between the two sacks is also different person to person: some boobs are really close together, others are far apart. Some boobs are “pointy,” some are “ski slopes,” some are perfectly rounded, and some are kinda amorphous. All boobs are asymmetrical, with one being slightly bigger than the other.
Mine? Well, they start under my armpits and are set relatively far apart. When I am laying on my back without a bra, they are almost totally flat. My boobs are a C/D cup (somewhere in between based on the time of the month), and they almost disappear when I’m on my back!
To give me the boobs I desperately wanted (to stop the teasing and feel better about myself), underwire push-up bras were the only thing that’d work. I needed a ton of structure to hold my boobs on the front of my chest and the oomph to give me cleavage. Unfortunately, push-up bras with underwire are uncomfortable: pinching, digging, compression, etc. Once I lived alone (or with people that didn’t care), bras flew off the second I got home!
The discomfort only grew as the chronic pain and sensory problems intensified. I do not wear any bra at all about 80% of the time – only if I’m leaving the house or have visitors.
Unfortunately, my breasts are large enough to really need support. Going bra-less has led to some severe discomfort several times (as the sensitive tissue stretches). During my period, I have to wear bras of some sort, but then I’m fighting to find a level of “acceptable” discomfort.
Any bra I could find that was “comfortable,” made me feel crummy about myself. Sports bras all smash me into appearing flat chested, and start to bother my shoulders if I wear them too long. Wireless bras, most of which have no push-up, do not have enough structure and fold up or slip around too much. Wired but without push-up have odd cup gaps. All wired bras are awful for lying on your side because then the wire attacks.
But, I finally found something! I’ve been trying to find a comfortable bra for ages! I finally did it!
The bra is wireless, lightly padded with removable padding, sewn to somehow have enough support, and even without push-up it gives me the shape I want! Not to mention, it’s so soft that Dan said “it’s so soft I almost want to wear it!”
What is this miracle bra that probably costs a bajillion dollars? Well, you’re in luck, because it doesn’t cost a bajillion dollars! Promise!
It’s the Lively Retro Ribbed Bralette!
I saw an ad for Lively bras on Instagram. When I was looking around at their site, I loved the company (and their mission) and was so surprised at how affordable their products were! And cute. Since they were affordable, I decided “why not” and got a bra!
Also, since they have an awesome purpose, I decided to apply to be an ambassador. I figured if I didn’t like the bra, then I didn’t ever have to talk about them. But, oh my goodness, I’m in love!
I decided to go for the Retro Ribbed Bralette, even though I have never been happy with a bralette. Normally, bralettes do absolutely nothing for me. But this one gives me shape, gives me support, is super comfy, and is definitely my new favorite bra! I’m a 34D or 36C, so I decided to get the medium. It actually fits really well! (The medium sports bra was too small, so I returned it and will get a large one with my next order.) And the bralette was only $35. However, the price goes down if you order more than one bra at a time, and you get discounts for making a free account (and rewards points to redeem for future orders).
Oh, and if you use my code, you get $10 off your first order! When you order using my code and/or link, I get a “redemption” point, which will eventually allow me to get free stuff from Lively. It’s a win for everyone!
I really do love my new bra, and I honestly think you’ll love their bras (and other products), too! If I recommend products, it’s always because I believe in them. Never ever am I going to talk about something I don’t honestly recommend.
I’m having to seriously restrain myself from buying all the bras right now! I’m only holding off because of money (I really shouldn’t blow Dan’s entire paycheck on bras) and if I manage to get pregnant soon I’ll need to get new bras anyway.