I don’t believe in failure
Cause I know the smallest voices, they can make it major
-from “Seven Years” by Lukas Graham-
I heard this song for the first time today. I was in the car, driving home from school. This song is a really good song, with a unique beat and beautiful, heartfelt lyrics. The DJ had compared it to the “100 Years” by Five for Fighting. I wouldn’t put it quite at the same level, but it’s very similar in a lot of ways. But this specific quote really struck me at the time. I just watched the video a second time and didn’t notice it as clearly. Obviously, it was one of those things I really needed to notice at the time.
I just got back from my Monday appointment with Joleen. I finally decided, after the scary emotional swings this weekend, to fully disclose the full pain in my arm (I hadn’t really been hiding it consciously, I think I was mostly lying to myself). There were several episodes this weekend where the pain in my arm got so bad it pushed me to tears.
After talking with Joleen, and explaining everything, she seemed worried. I don’t like when my doctors get nervous. But, she is right. Normally, when my body randomly acts up, it just takes a few weeks to get it back into sync again. My arm pain came out of no where. I didn’t do anything, and it suddenly was killing me. We’ve been stretching my nerves, trying to release the tension, and rubbing out the knots for several weeks… and we haven’t made any progress.
So sometimes you don’t realize what you need to hear until you say it to someone else. At least, that’s how it works with me a lot. When I am dealing with other peoples’ problems, I actually do pretty well and can think pretty clearly… but I am completely helpless at solving my own problems. And yes, they can be the same problems.
I find this song ridiculously inspiring for myself. It’s kind of become like a theme song for me. I’m battling all these illnesses, but “I’ve still got, a lot of fight left in me.” Just in case you haven’t somehow heard it, take a listen, or at least read through the lyrics below!