Tag Archives: spoonie

Internal Struggle

Part of my extended absence has been due to a massive internal struggle I’ve been dealing with.

I started this blog, in part, to journal about all the aspects of my illnesses. This includes all of the aspects of my physical symptoms AND my mental symptoms. This journaling is to help me deal with what is going on in my life, and to help anyone else that is struggling not to feel as alone.

Now, where is the struggle? Well, I have found myself holding back and not being completely honest with you. I’ve been leaving things out, under-telling symptoms, playing down physical symptoms, and just not touching on the mental aspect at all.

Why?

The answer to the why is where the struggle comes in.

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Rest, Finally

Oh man, I can hardly believe it… Stuff is over. My body has been on high for the last several weeks and my calendar is suddenly EMPTY. Mom left this morning, and I went to Verizon this afternoon to get the stuff with my replacement phone figured out. But then all I had to do the rest of today was to get my replacement phone setup! Yay!

However, since I’ve been on high for so long, my body doesn’t want to decompress. I have crazy knots everywhere, and I have a crazy intense “forgetting everything” type of feeling. And migraines. Ugh. I had one that was pretty bad when Dan got home today, that hit quickly, and then the Excedrin either wore off after two hours or I got hit by a second one… either way, ugh. Plus, stomach issues. Hopefully, however, after a few more days of actually resting, my body will actually believe me that nothing is urgent and come out of the “emergency” stage.

Tomorrow, I’m going to read! I’m also going to get my allergy shots and drop off my old phone at the post office and have my individual appointment with Joleen. But mostly, I’m going to relax and just read 🙂 It’ll be fantastic!

read

 

MIA A Little Longer

Life is Hectic

I had my last classes yesterday! I just checked my grades though and had to email one of my teachers because she’d said that the papers should be posted by 5pm yesterday and mine still hasn’t been graded and it was turned in two hours before the deadline. However, without the paper grade, I have an A in that class! My other class is also an A. So I if I got an A on my paper, then I will have an A in both of my classes which means that I’ll be graduating on another 4.0 semester!!!!! 😀 Exciting!

You would think my life would calm down now, but not quite yet.

My graduation is on Saturday, which means my family is flying in from California. I’m excited that my family is visiting 🙂 This is the first time my Dad and sister have gotten to see my house. It also means that we have a lot to do to get it ready. We are also having a party on Saturday, so we have a lot to do to get ready for that too. I’m really sore from stuff yesterday, so I’m taking a break to write this but I really need to get back to my to-do list.

AFTER my graduation stuff, THEN I’ll have time. There are several things I want to write about… I just need the time! Until then, I hope you all are doing well. I’m alive, I promise.

In Need of Spoons…

Does anyone have any extra spoons?

spoonie

 

My family is arriving Friday morning and I have a LOT to get done around the house to get ready for my graduation party Saturday before they get here.

Anyone have spoons they don’t need to help me get thru the weekend?

special spoon

On a positive note, I no longer have any classes!!!!!

Atypical Flare Day

Itchy. Everything is itchy. The burning itchy kind of itchy. The under the skin kind of itchy. The normal itchy. EVERYTHING itches!!!!!

It’s been like this for hours now. Why it just now hit me that I’m in the middle of a flare, I don’t know, but it did. Usually, my flares agree more pain involved. This doesn’t have much pain. But I am SO irritated. Everything itches, even my eyeballs. Because of that, everything is driving me bonkers.

A hair fell off my head and touched my arm and I almost burst in to tears. No, I’m not kidding. My phone put “feel” instead of “fell” in that sentence and I felt inexplicable rage.

My internet isn’t working very well, which is why I’m writing this on my phone (I hate using my phone for posting). The lack of functional internet also means i can’t work on my homework right now. Xfinity was being awful and made me uber angry, again, so I had to stop watching TV. My hands are uber stiff so I don’t want to hold a book of any kind right this moment. Dan is at school working on a project for class.

My hands and feet are swollen. I just noticed that. Maybe I’m dehydrated? Maybe it’s the medication I’m on for the sinus infection? Who knows. But it’s not helping.

I just want to cry, but that’ll just give me a headache. Crying is great for the soul sometimes, I just wish my head would agree. Ugh.

 

I Didn’t Pass Out

Thankfully.

I was out of LabCorp just after noon. As soon as I got to my car I chugged my Ensure and took my medications. By the time I got the DMV (I had to get plates for the Ford), my medication was starting to kick in. I didn’t get home until after one. Thankfully, I had some leftover ravioli in the fridge and it happens to be a cheese day so I was able to eat it (they have Parmesan which is an aged cheese) for a late lunch, and now I’m feeling a lot better. Now, off to work on more homework for the end of the semester.

I Should Have Made An Appointment…

I have to get routine bloodwork done because I haven’t had a normal physical in two years (I didn’t realize it had been that long, all those other doc appointments blended together). This also means I have to fast because I have to do a lipid panel.

LabCorp (where I get my blood drawn) is really busy from opening until 10 because of all the people fasting and because they don’t require appointments. I figured I’d sleep in today, on my day off, and go on as soon as I woke up. I walk in about 11:15 and the waiting room is full (about 20 people).

Oh dear. I’ve been sitting here for 15 minutes and I’m starting to get dizzy thanks to nothing but water. I did bring Ensure with me for immediately after, but ugh. I feel crappy. Next time, I need to make an appointment.

Empathy vs Sympathy by Brene Brown

This video is a very short and beautiful way of describing the difference between empathy and sympathy. Empathy is important and how we connect with people. Empathy is what everyone needs, what everyone wants. Learn empathy. Practice empathy. Foster connection. Foster love.

Summary of A Pilot Study Using AVS for Insomnia in Adults and Chronic Pain Patients

Here is my paper. I had to write a summary of the article that I read. At the bottom is the reference, which includes all of the information for the article if you are interested in finding it for yourself.

Summary of A Pilot Study of Audio-Visual Stimulation as a Self-Care Treatment for Insomnia in Adults with Insomnia in Chronic Pain

Chronic pain and sleep disturbances are comorbid conditions, meaning they are often diagnosed in the same patient. It is estimated that one in three Americans suffers from chronic pain, and as many as 88% of those suffering from chronic pain also suffer from some sort of regular sleep disturbance (Tang, Vitiello, Perlis, Mao, & Riegel, 2014); that equates to about 78 million American adults suffering from chronic pain, with about 68 million also suffering from sleep difficulties (Howden & Meyer, 2011). These statistics show a shockingly high level of comorbidity, and a need for a solution. It has also been suggested that the relationship between pain and sleep may be bidirectional, meaning that increased sleep disturbances increases pain levels and increased pain levels increases sleep disturbances. Sleep disturbances have also been linked to other physical and psychiatric problems, which have also been shown to cause chronic pain problems, suggesting that treatment for chronic pain should focus on sleep disturbances.

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Soon I’ll Have Research to Share

The paper I’m writing for psych isn’t a traditional research paper. Instead of a research paper, we had to find a short article related to psychology and then summarize it in plain English (I think it’s so we can have more practice in reading and understanding scientific articles). I chose an article that is related to insomnia and chronic pain. Once I get my paper turned in, I’ll share it with you guys because I find it very interesting.

Here’s my paper: Summary of A Pilot Study of Audio-Visual Stimulation as a Self-Care Treatment for Insomnia in Adults with Insomnia in Chronic Pain