Category Archives: Chronic Illness

Stomach Bug?

Apparently, I’m feeling awful because I have gastroenteritis. Or at least, that’s what my GI thinks. Gastroenteritis = the stomach flu. Stupid stomach bug. I don’t have a fever that we’ve noticed, but I’ve been downing pain meds like crazy so it might be suppressed I suppose.

He told me to hold off on my Amitiza for three days, then restart it on the next higher dose (since before the bug I didn’t think it doing anything). If my symptoms don’t come back, then it was just a bug. We shall see. Here’s hoping I survive.

Digestion Shmigestion

Obviously, things have gone kaplooey again. I didn’t think my new medication was doing ANYTHING at all, because I had gone back to “normal” (my normal for 20+ years has been constipation). Yesterday, I suddenly got violently attacked by severe diarrhea. Today, it continues. I have a call in to the GI. Hopefully, he knows what to do.

One of my best friend’s baby showers is on Sunday, so I HAVE to feel at least a little better by then…

Update About “Internal Struggle”

Previous Post: Internal Struggle

My mom decided to unfollow my blog. She wasn’t upset, but she didn’t want me to feel like I needed to hold back. While I’m kind of relieved, because now I can be completely honest without stressing about the tenuous relationship I have with my family… I’m unsure about how communication is going to work regarding my illnesses and such now. Oh well, I guess we’ll see. Maybe now we’ll actually talk.

I do have a post I’m trying to figure out how to structure. It might turn into a series of posts. Recently, I’ve been struggling at coming to terms with my Joint Hypermobility Syndrome (JHS) (potential EDS). Why have I been struggling? Because it’s a condition I was born with and that means I have had it my entire life. Why is that a struggle? Because I didn’t get diagnosed until just recently, even though I’ve had symptoms and very definitive signs my entire life. Yeah. So I’m trying to figure out how to structure the post/series properly and how to make it informative and therapeutic. It’s been a major part of my thinking lately, which is why I haven’t really been posting.

Well, I also haven’t been posting much because I’ve been in a pain and Tramadol induced haze for the past several days due to my back. Stupid back.

Hopefully, things will start to come together soon.

Still Struggling With Pain

I spent today in one of the worst flares i think I’ve ever had. My pain put me into a daze; functioning was almost impossible. It was as if  I  was trying to listen to the radio inside a tunnel. Even my vision was screwed up. When I my first dose of Tramadol for the day, it didn’t seem to work at all. Well, it made me nauseous, but the pain was doing that too. I’ve had a horrid day. The second dose of Tramadol worked a bit, and the vision improved a little.

Hopefully, I can get a little sleep and my Pilates class tomorrow will help instead of hurt. I want to function again!

Back Pain, Still

This pain is trying to kill me.

I do not like taking so much medicine… but I can’t function. I can’t sleep. I can’t think.

I wish I knew what I did. Then again, I honestly don’t think I did anything.

I just want it to stop!!!!

(Back pain post 1, post 2.)

“Grieving The Life I Once Had” – from HuffPost

A little while ago, I read this post on HuffPost:

Grieving the Life I Once Had
by Naomi Sakin

(I actually got there from Dysautonomia International‘s Facebook page.)

Facebook is really the only way I get any of my news. The only news source I follow directly is National Geographic, and that’s primarily because I have admired their photography for as long as I can remember. Anyway, that’s off topic.

The article, is heartbreaking. It’s heartbreaking because it’s real. So devastatingly and painfully real. You don’t find out what she has until the end, but it doesn’t matter. I think anyone with a chronic condition can relate, especially one that you weren’t born with, or that you were born with that didn’t get diagnosed or show up until later in life, or one that changed as you grew, or one that is progressive that suddenly throws you curve balls that alter your day-to-day. Really, anyone. Anyone that no longer can do what they used to.

Take caution reading the article. If you are fragile, you will cry. I teared up, but luckily I’m not doing too badly, mentally, right this moment so I didn’t lose it. Yesterday, I would have flat out bawled for hours.

I am kind of proud as to what my unconscious and fingers decided to add to my Facebook share and wanted to share it with you:

The life we once lived gets torn from us in an instant. The life we once lived gets replaced by pain and pills. Still, we are somehow expected to carry on. We adjust, and we move forward.
– Elizabeth Bulfer

Sometimes, we don’t know how we move forward, but we always seem to move forward. That’s why I started this blog: to move forward, to remember to always move forward, to give me a reason to move forward (if only to make one more post), and to remind others to move forward.

Together, we can carry the enormous weight of these illnesses and our grief.

Together, let’s move forward.

Featured Image from the article

Back Pain: Gone and Back Again

So I wrote this post just after 4am last night, on my phone, originally. My phone and WordPress are NOT friends and it deleted it apparently. This happens a lot. Ugh. So I will try to rewrite it now that I’ve noticed.

Overnight, it appeared that my back healed because I woke up on Friday morning feeling almost “normal” again. My back was sore, sure, but it definitely wasn’t anything near the severe back pain I was experiencing on Thursday; I wouldn’t even really call it “bad pain” let alone “severe pain.” I took some Aleve and was careful, but carried on with my day. By Friday evening, I felt pretty much 100% and barely noticed my back at all.

Continue reading →

Severe Back Pain Today

Sometime last night, I was woken up by pain in my right SI joint (sacroiliac joint). The pain was intense enough to wake me up, something that doesn’t happen often, but was something I’m familiar with. It was the pain that comes with the joint locking up. Sadly, locked SI joints are common, especially in the right. Once I identified pain, I stretched in an attempt to resolve it, and went back to sleep.

493x335_low_back_pain_overview_slideshow

Continue reading →

Internal Struggle

Part of my extended absence has been due to a massive internal struggle I’ve been dealing with.

I started this blog, in part, to journal about all the aspects of my illnesses. This includes all of the aspects of my physical symptoms AND my mental symptoms. This journaling is to help me deal with what is going on in my life, and to help anyone else that is struggling not to feel as alone.

Now, where is the struggle? Well, I have found myself holding back and not being completely honest with you. I’ve been leaving things out, under-telling symptoms, playing down physical symptoms, and just not touching on the mental aspect at all.

Why?

The answer to the why is where the struggle comes in.

Continue reading →

In Need of Spoons…

Does anyone have any extra spoons?

spoonie

 

My family is arriving Friday morning and I have a LOT to get done around the house to get ready for my graduation party Saturday before they get here.

Anyone have spoons they don’t need to help me get thru the weekend?

special spoon

On a positive note, I no longer have any classes!!!!!