Category Archives: Random Life Stuff

My New “Niece”

One of my best friends just had her second little girl yesterday! I’ve know K.C (the mommy) since I was 14, and we’ve been very close ever since. I am so very excited for her! I am doing everything I can to figure out my health enough so that I can hopefully go visit her at the end of July, because she lives in another state.

chism family

(watermark is purposefully very intrusive so you cannot steal the adorableness)

At least they’re one little burst of sunshine in this horrible pain cycle I’ve been stuck in!!!! I’m so happy! I cannot wait to go see them all again, it’s been far too long and her older daughter has grown so much!!!!

Obviously, I put “niece” in quotes in the title because K.C and I aren’t related by blood. However, since we’ve known each other so long, and we’re so close, we do think of each other as sisters. She does consider me to be an aunt to her daughters and I will think of her as an aunt to my children when I have them ❤ I love her and her little family and I just wish they were so much closer so I could spoil them as much as I want to!!!

Internal Struggle

Part of my extended absence has been due to a massive internal struggle I’ve been dealing with.

I started this blog, in part, to journal about all the aspects of my illnesses. This includes all of the aspects of my physical symptoms AND my mental symptoms. This journaling is to help me deal with what is going on in my life, and to help anyone else that is struggling not to feel as alone.

Now, where is the struggle? Well, I have found myself holding back and not being completely honest with you. I’ve been leaving things out, under-telling symptoms, playing down physical symptoms, and just not touching on the mental aspect at all.

Why?

The answer to the why is where the struggle comes in.

Continue reading →

Rest, Finally

Oh man, I can hardly believe it… Stuff is over. My body has been on high for the last several weeks and my calendar is suddenly EMPTY. Mom left this morning, and I went to Verizon this afternoon to get the stuff with my replacement phone figured out. But then all I had to do the rest of today was to get my replacement phone setup! Yay!

However, since I’ve been on high for so long, my body doesn’t want to decompress. I have crazy knots everywhere, and I have a crazy intense “forgetting everything” type of feeling. And migraines. Ugh. I had one that was pretty bad when Dan got home today, that hit quickly, and then the Excedrin either wore off after two hours or I got hit by a second one… either way, ugh. Plus, stomach issues. Hopefully, however, after a few more days of actually resting, my body will actually believe me that nothing is urgent and come out of the “emergency” stage.

Tomorrow, I’m going to read! I’m also going to get my allergy shots and drop off my old phone at the post office and have my individual appointment with Joleen. But mostly, I’m going to relax and just read 🙂 It’ll be fantastic!

read

 

MIA A Little Longer

Life is Hectic

I had my last classes yesterday! I just checked my grades though and had to email one of my teachers because she’d said that the papers should be posted by 5pm yesterday and mine still hasn’t been graded and it was turned in two hours before the deadline. However, without the paper grade, I have an A in that class! My other class is also an A. So I if I got an A on my paper, then I will have an A in both of my classes which means that I’ll be graduating on another 4.0 semester!!!!! 😀 Exciting!

You would think my life would calm down now, but not quite yet.

My graduation is on Saturday, which means my family is flying in from California. I’m excited that my family is visiting 🙂 This is the first time my Dad and sister have gotten to see my house. It also means that we have a lot to do to get it ready. We are also having a party on Saturday, so we have a lot to do to get ready for that too. I’m really sore from stuff yesterday, so I’m taking a break to write this but I really need to get back to my to-do list.

AFTER my graduation stuff, THEN I’ll have time. There are several things I want to write about… I just need the time! Until then, I hope you all are doing well. I’m alive, I promise.

I Didn’t Pass Out

Thankfully.

I was out of LabCorp just after noon. As soon as I got to my car I chugged my Ensure and took my medications. By the time I got the DMV (I had to get plates for the Ford), my medication was starting to kick in. I didn’t get home until after one. Thankfully, I had some leftover ravioli in the fridge and it happens to be a cheese day so I was able to eat it (they have Parmesan which is an aged cheese) for a late lunch, and now I’m feeling a lot better. Now, off to work on more homework for the end of the semester.

Empathy vs Sympathy by Brene Brown

This video is a very short and beautiful way of describing the difference between empathy and sympathy. Empathy is important and how we connect with people. Empathy is what everyone needs, what everyone wants. Learn empathy. Practice empathy. Foster connection. Foster love.

It’s Not All Racism and Sexism

Today rattled me pretty badly. The attitudes expressed were not attitudes I was surprised by, I knew they existed, but I have never heard them on this scale. However, they are probably something you will be surprised by because even my husband was shocked to hear about it.

microagression definitionI’m a woman, and thus I have experienced both subtle sexism and overt sexism my entire life. I have dealt with microaggression and overt aggression, one on one and group comments and actions against women, and other sexist things my entire life. It’s inherent in having boobs and a vagina. Sorry for being crass about it, but it’s true, sadly. Thankfully, things are starting to change. Slowly, but they are.

This was not sexism.

I’m white. Most people think that because I’m white, I do not understand racism. You would be wrong to think that. I grew up in an area where white was a minority, actually, especially once I hit high school. While I admit that I haven’t experienced racism as often as other races have, and I haven’t experienced institutionalized racism, I have definitely experienced it. Racism in the form of microagression and overt aggression, actually. I’ve been called derogatory names, purely to get a rise out of me (I knew it though so I didn’t cave), and I’ve been threatened. It’s gotten bad enough I’ve feared for my safety a few times.

This was not racism.

I have been the victim of atrocious bullying. I have been bullied in pretty much every way you can imagine. I was never given a black eye, but I have been bruised (I just usually got hit on the torso or kicked in the shins). sadI was bullied to the point where I planned out every detail of my suicide, but then something happened that made me change my mind at the last minute (and now I’m very glad it did). I was bullied on every level of bullying, from people walking past me in the hall and “cough*ugly*cough” to chanting to exclusion to purposefully hitting me with playground balls to explicitly telling me to die to taking my things from me to vandalizing my possessions to threatening my life. The bullying didn’t stop until after high school, and I’ve even run into a few instances since then.

This was not bullying.

Today was different.

Continue reading →

School Monster Eats Time

I had a math test today, totally nailed it. The studying, however, took a ton of time since I didn’t realize I had it until Monday when I decided to see what I needed to do to get caught up in my math class.

My major psych paper is due on Monday by midnight. I have to read an article (already picked out and professor approved) and then do a write up about it. I haven’t read the article yet.

My mother-in-law is coming down tomorrow until Sunday. Haven’t seen her in awhile, so it’ll be nice, but it means I have less time to do my HW. Which means WAY less time for fun stuff, like this blog.

Hopefully, I’ll be back after the paper gets turned in… But the rest of the semester is pretty busy since I only have a few weeks left.

FINALLY a Recovery Cocktail

How do you recover from a month of crazy emotional stress, travel stress, chronic illness, and allergy testing?

IMG_20160419_161538

Zofran, Tramadol, two Benadryl, two Excedrin Extra Strength

I just got home from my allergy testing, and this is the first thing I did. Well, technically the second. This has just been the most ridiculous month, and definitely not in a good way. Grama passed on the 3rd, and now suddenly it’s the 19th. I do not know what exactly happened to the month of April, but I do know it has been a giant ball of stress of all kinds.

Here is why I’ve been a ball of stress: